You may have noticed how your mind comments on what’s going on, all day long. You think, in other words. We humans think a lot. Thinking seems harmless enough– our thoughts keep us company, after all. When there’s no one around to talk to, we have friend who understands us. We have a compatible voice in our heads, documenting our movements and counseling us, wherever we go.

You probably know there’s a running commentary going on in your head, but you may not know that you can guide that commentary in whatever direction you want. How do I know what I want? you may wonder, and that’s a good question. Our minds have been running on autopilot for so long, we assume the angry monologues are normal and necessary. We think self-pity is unavoidable. We think we have to think something, anything, all the time. So what would we change, if we could?

What did we ever want from our commentaries? Way back in early childhood, we learned how they could trigger an emotional response. We had a thought, and threw a tantrum. We thought out loud, and other people threw tantrums. Most of us have spent a lifetime stirring up random emotions– by judging, remembering, regretting. We can probably see what we’ve wanted in the past, but what do we want now?

The commentator has grown up, but you may have noticed your mind works in more or less the same way as it did in childhood. It still has an appetite for self-pity. It sees injustice everywhere. “She won’t listen to me,” you can hear yourself complaining. “He doesn’t understand me…they don’t respect me…life’s unfair!” We still pay a big penalty for our narrative. We discourage love and push away happiness. We’re hypnotized by our stories. We’re trapped in a recurring news cycle of our own making.

Everything in life changes, grows, evolves. Nothing should stay the same– not even the commentary. And it will change when the commentator does. Everything changes when we start to hear ourselves, and redirect the conversation. We can say goodbye to those ‘chatty friends,’ carelessly gossiping in our heads. The truth is, they never were as compatible as we thought. Their poison has sickened our bodies and rattled our nerves long enough. We can ignore all their unsolicited advice. We can dismiss all their meddling. We can spend some quality time with the truth.

What is it you want? If it’s peace and quiet, then you might want to say no to the voices. If it’s love you want, you need to throw out all your stupid rules and conditions. With a little devotion to your own well-being, you can change the relationship between your mind and your body. It’s the one that makes all other relationships work, so make it a love affair. Make it a paradise, where mutual respect determines every response…and commentaries are never necessary.